Finding Community

Part of transitioning is finding a new community.  For us community means a church family, mom friends, work friends, and friends for the boys.   This is the part of each move that I dread the most!  I hate having to start all over again, I know I have done it 3 times before and in 3 different countries, but it's hard and it always takes me back to high school.  I'm always trying to make a good first impression, wondering what the others are thinking about me, trying to see where we'll fit in, will they accept us?

In Australia most our our community was outside of the embassy community.  Brian did have a good work environment and really liked the people he worked with.  Also my best friend there was also with the embassy.  It's usually easier to make friends in the embassy because we're all in the same boat and if we've arrived around the same time they're usually as desperate as I am to make friends.  But I also joined a wonderful playgroup.  We also were a part of an amazing church, Tuggeranong Presbyterian Church was the most welcoming loving church we have ever been a part of.

In Bogota, Brian had another good work environment.  He really enjoyed working with the 2 finance guys that he supervised.  I was also able to make a lot of friends through the embassy, the preschool, and the church.  There was 1 English speaking church, so that's where we went and we were able to become pretty involved.  By the time we left I was teaching Sunday school, we were part of a small group, involved in MOPS, and Caleb was given a good foundation and started affirming his faith!

So we've obviously had good experiences.  But France is different!  I'm finding the embassy community not as welcoming and most of the moms work.  I think they just expect everyone to do their own thing since it's Paris.  Also in August the city pretty much clears out for vacations.  So even though we are going to a lot of parks, we're not meeting anyone.  We've had 2 good play dates, but, I still feel lonely a lot.  I know Caleb is worried too.  Yesterday we visited the school he'll be attending, and when we left he said he was nervous he wouldn't make friends.  We've also been going to an American church here, but again, it hasn't been as welcoming.  We've been 3 weeks and so far we haven't met anyone, we go, drop off Ollie in the nursery, attend service and leave.  This is not how church is supposed to work and I'm pretty upset about it.   But there is vacation Bible school next week, so maybe we'll meet people there? I've also joined an anglophone mom's internet group and am hoping in september things will start to pick up again.

I know that this is the hardest time, I'm trying to keep that in perspective when I have these feelings, and in a couple of months things will get better.  We will be settled in our new apartment, the boys will be in school, and Ollie and I will have our routines.  Plus hopefully I will be learning more French then too.  But for now, it sucks.

So yeah, its been a long post, but we did find out our apartment will ready september 9 and our HHE (boat shipment from Bogota) is in country!  Yay!  We are ready to get this transition period over and get settled.

Around town

We got to see three new places this week and we had 2 play dates!   On one of the play dates the mom told me about a park closer to our new apartment so we went to check it out.  It's a lot smaller, but it has a small soccer court and more play options for Caleb.
We also went to the aquarium.  My goal this week was to take the bus at least once to try to start figuring that system out.  The aquarium is by the Eiffel Tower and the stop for that line is right outside our apartment,  so we tried it out.  It's super easy to use and I think going to be a better option for us while we still need a stroller.  But it doesn't run as often as the metro, so you have to wait longer.  We took it the 3 stops and walked a little to the aquarium.  It's a very small and overpriced aquarium.  But it served it's purpose for getting us out and the boys liked it.  We got lunch there and in my option that was the beat part, it was a buffet and totally worth the price of the food.  It had about 6 different salads, 5 or so different cheeses and ham, honey chicken, baked potatoes, pasta, french fries, beef bourguignon, rice, and 2 Asian dishes, about 7 types of fruit, bread, and 4 desserts.  I had to restrain myself!  It was a nice morning out for us, but if you come to visit, I wouldn't recommend going for the price of the tickets.
Today we went to le jardin d'acclimatation.  It's a park for kids in the suburbs, but easily accessible by
metro. I heard it had a splash pad and it's been I the 90s all week, so I thought it was a prefect idea!  But of course today it was overcast and chilly.  It has a cheap admission price at 3€.  So if you only do the free stuff, it's very affordable.  It has at least 2 large okay areas. It also has amusement rides, a splash pad, horse and carriage rides, an aviary, a little zoo, and open grassy areas too.  It was a lot of fun, although a bit chilly today.
Here are some pics :)

Race track in le jardin d'acclimatation

In one of the play area in the jardin

This was probably the best part, you could touch all the fish.  Elias was a bit apprehensive! 

A tourist in our new home

I had seen picture of a Ferris wheel near a park and thought the boys would love it.  So today we decided to go and check it out.  It is in the jardin Tuileries and there were tons of amusement park rides.  We got there around 10:30 and the area was not open yet, so we walked around, it's a beautiful park.  We found a trampoline that looked fun but it was 2.50 euro a kid for 5 minutes, so we kept walking!  Then we found a little park where the kids could play for free.  It was pretty cool with a big ladder and netting to cross to get to a slide.  It also had stuff for Ollie too.  Although it took some convincing for Ollie because he of course wanted to go down the slide! Then I saw the Ferris wheel moving so we headed that way.  Everything we passed, Elias wanted to stop and go on.  We made it to the end to find out it was 40€ to go on it.  We reluctantly paid, but the views were really nice!  But for the 40€ you only went around 3 times.  We told the boys they could pick 1 more thing, and again, Elias wanted to go on everything we passed.  But they finally decided on the flume ride, which of course an adult had to go on with them and sit in front.  Thanks guys.  Luckily I didn't get too wet.  Ollie chose a lightening McQueen car ride. Then we had lunch at one of the stands.  Even their fast food is yummy and Elias' hot dog came in a baguette!
This afternoon we're going to take Brian to show him how the boys ride this scooters in the "area where no cars are allowed" (Caleb's description).
I do love exploring a new city!

Adjustments are hard

Brian and I always said we wanted to do our traveling while the kids are young.  Our thought was to get it out of the way early so the adjustments would be easier.  Being a middle school teacher, I knew that once they got to that age it would be much harder on them, of course depending on the child.
This adjustment so far has been the hardest for Caleb.  For the first time (of our moves) he is completely aware of everything going on and the majority of the implications.  He is showing his nervousness and fears through misbehaving, doing things to annoy his brothers, etc.  The day we left for Paris, he knew we were taking a flight that night and he was off the wall crazy.  When I talked to him about it and asked him if he was a little nervous, he told me, he was  "a lot nervous".
When we got here we talked a lot about how our bodies felt funny because of the jet lag.  So if they were acting off, I would ask how their body felt.  But 2 days ago, I knew something was up with Caleb again with some crazy behavior.  I asked him why he was having a hard time and he told me "my body feels sad because we are moving."  It completely broke my heart.
I have found however that letting him know that what he is doing is hard seems to help him feel better.  I tell him that moving to a new country is hard, going on the metro and trying to be a really good listener is hard, walking all the time is hard.  I think acknowledging that he's having a hard time is helping him feel a bit better and hopefully will help he talk about it a bit more.
All this is new for me too and I'm having a hard time too.  It's hard knowing exactly how to help them through this transition.  I'm hoping that once school starts (in early September) and we start to make new routines thing will get better.  But until then we'll be doing a lot of praying!

Here are the picture of our new apartment as promised!  Plus our air freight came today!  So we have more toys and their scooters!  It is a super scooter friendly city!  Yay!

Living room

 Between the living room and dining room is another room.  I don't know what you are supposed to do with that room, but we are going to use it as a playroom. 

 They sell these frozen meals that have been a lifesaver for me right now!  This one is gnocchi with roasted red peppers, chorizo, and chicken.  Yum!  The stove is the type where you turn on the gas and then have to light it, every time I'm so afraid I'm going to burn my hand off!  I need to find a bbq lighter pronto!

 We drink a lot of milk!  This is the equivalent of about 3 gallons that we went through in 6 days!  I had been really good about not drinking soda, but for now I'm letting myself have the caffein :)

 The view from the kitchen window.

I took this picture at 8:30pm, no flash needed!  This room is the brightest of the apartment and gets a ton of afternoon light!  So far Caleb is the only one who can go to sleep in it. 

The first days

We arrived on a Thursday around noon.  There is a 6 hour time difference, so we had some jet lag to deal with along with a restless night's sleep.  Brian's office sponsor picked us up from the airport with 2 vans, one for us and one for our luggage (remember those 11 pieces :)  Then they took us right to our apartment.  Unfortunately, the apartment they found for us is not ready, so we are in a temporary apartment  for about 6 weeks until it's ready.  It's in a nice area of Paris called the 16eme and about a 15 minute walk or so from our permanent place. It is a pretty big 3 bedroom place.  Our sponsor had been to the place ahead of time and bought us some basic groceries and even scheduled for cable and internet to be installed the day we arrived!
So, the first day, we took a quick walk around the neighborhood and played in the apartment.  Then we all went to bed early.  But, what we did not anticipate, is that the sun does not set here until 9:30pm in the summer!  The rooms are so bright!  Which is awesome during the day, but tough to fall asleep.  The first night we were all off schedule and poor Ollie was up from 12-3am.  But the subsequent nights got better.
Brian had to go to work Friday.  So the boys and I walked to a park in our area.  It is really nice, has a lot of grassy areas, a street that's blocked off to traffic where kids can ride bikes, 3 separate play areas for different ages, a merry go round, and on the weekends pony rides.  We went twice that day and in the afternoon tried out the merry go round and it's different than I've ever seen!  It's run by a man and woman.  The man walks the horses around and the kids riding the horses get sticks (like drumsticks), the woman stands at a podium and when the kids pass the podium they try to catch rings on the stick that are dangling from the podium.  When Ollie and Elias were frustrated they didn't get any, the man came and put rings on their sticks for them.  The boys loved it!
We also have a neighborhood sponsor that lives in the building we are in now.  The wife came up to say hi, showed me around a bit, and let us borrow an easel to play with.
On Saturday, we walked to Trocadero, where the Eiffel Tower is located.  There is a merry go round and park there too.  Then we decided to walk a different way home where of course we got lost and had tired, jet lagged boys, so it ended badly.
Sunday we tried out the American Church of Paris.  We had heard really good things about it from friends in Bogota, but we were a bit disappointed.  Because it's summer there is no Sunday school and it was much more traditional than we normally go for.  But, I think we are going to wait it out a bit and see how it goes when everything starts back up again in September.
This week has been filled with more trips to the park and meetings at the embassy.  Tomorrow our air freight is being delivered.  So we are so excited to have some more toys for the boys, their scooters (they are complaining so much about walking when we walked just as much in Bogota!!), and more kitchen supplies.
I guess that's about it for now.  I'm going to try to take some pictures tonight of the apartment so you can see it!  I'll post them on the next blog!

Home Leave

I realize I have been horrible about blogging.  But now that we are in a new city and having lots of transition, I'm going to try to blog more, mainly just to get stuff out of my head!  Because as we all know these times are especially difficult.  So let's go back to home leave.

In between posts we get some vacation time called home leave.  We took 5 weeks back in MD to see family and get a lot of appointments done.  Because our families live so close we split the time evenly between the 2 families.  It works our really well because both have space for us and the boys love spending time with their grandparents!
Before we left, I had been noticing for awhile that Elias was having some trouble hearing.  He also had a constant runny nose.  Oliver had a terrible double ear infection about a month before we left that actually ruptured his ear drum!  So our first appointment was the ENT and audiologist, where we found out that Elias did have significant hearing loss in his left ear due to chronic fluid and Oliver also had chronic fluid and both would need ear tubes before we left.  yay.  That same week while a friend was visiting, Elias somehow fell off a ride on car and fell on his arm, which led to an urgent care visit and then on to a specialist.  Luckily everything turned out to be fine, but it was quite a week!
We also got to spend 2 weeks at the beach with our families.  We spent a week with my side and my brother's family was able to come up, so the boys got a week with their cousins.  Then we had a week with Brian's family at their beach house.
The remaining 2 weeks were spent going to dentist and doctor appointments and getting the ear tubes in.  Both the boys did really well in surgery and by the time we got back to the house they were acting completely normal.
So after a fun filled and super busy 5 weeks, we boarded a plane to Paris.  We were all very excited it was a direct flight!  From Bogota we always had to connect in Miami or Atlanta.  It was also a red eye, so our hope was that the boys would sleep, and they did!!  Luckily the flight was only 1/2 full and especially our section was quite empty.  So each boy got 2 seats to lay across and sleep.  I would say of the 8 hours, they slept about 6-7.  So we were super pleased!  I slept maybe 2 hours.
When we arrived the airport was also quite empty, so we got through immigration very quickly and got our 11 pieces of luggage!
Ok.  So that's the backstory,  I'll do the first days on the next blog :)

Traveling with young kids

A friend of mine posted on Facebook the other day about advice for traveling with kids.  I have gotten emails from friends in the past about this also.  So I thought I would write my advice, or what has worked for me and Brian on our trips.
My kids are no strangers to airplanes.  When Caleb was 17 months we moved from Maryland to Australia ( about 30 hours 7 including layovers) and when he was about 21 months I flew alone with him from Canberra to Bangkok (9 hours).  So here's my first piece of advice.  When yours kids are super young, try to go overnight.  This worked really well for us.  We brought his car seat on the plane and when the lights went out, so did he!  He might not get a full night, but the majority of the flight he will be asleep.  I also took his favorite animal with us and his pacifier.  These really helped him to feel more comfortable.
When Elias was 14 months and Caleb was 3 we moved back to Maryland from Australia.  Flights out of Australia to the States are always morning.  So we had not choice but to fly all day.
By about 3 years old we found that they become better travelers.  But 14 months is probably the worst time to take a super long flight.  So Brian and I did tag team parenting.  Brian sat with Caleb and I sat with Elias.  We packed a carry on for the boys just for the plane.  We brought the laptop to play Caleb's favorite DVDs and of course made sure it was fully charged.  We also brought lots of snacks.  We filled the rest of the space with their favorite animals, one for each, toys, and books.  We had Caleb help us pack the bag so he had a say in what he wanted to play with, cars, paper and markers, etc.  I also went to the dollar store a few days ahead of time and bought a few new toys.  So he had a brand new toy where the novelty had not yet worn off.
As for Elias he was in the super mobile stage.  Again we took his car seat on the plane.  I tried to keep his schedule as normal as possible.  I tried to nap him along the same hours as normal.  When he was awake I asked the stewardesses if he could walk the aisles.  On almost all the flights I have found that as long as you are trying to keep your kids under control other passengers and stewardesses are very understanding.  The other passengers enjoyed watching Elias go up and down and would smile at him or give him high fives.
As far as food, I would order the kids meals ahead of time and we doled out a lot of snacks.  A long flight is not the time to be super health conscience.
When we arrived at the airport for layovers we let our kids run.  Not run free, we gave them limits, but they were allowed to run around a bit to help them free up that pent up energy.
When Caleb was 4, Elias was 2, and Ollie was 7 months we moved from Maryland to Bogotá (7 hours of flying).  This time we brought the laptop and ipad, because of course Elias and Caleb were not going to agree on what to watch.  We did much the same as before.  But now that Caleb was older we brought card games too.  He loves playing "go fish" and "uno".  We sat Ollie by the window in his car seat, then me, then Caleb.  Brian sat across the aisle then Elias.

So I guess here are my tips to summarize.
1.  If the child is super young and it is a long flight, try to go overnight.
2.  Pack a bag just for the plane with their favorite animal or lovey, pacifier, snacks, and toys.  If the child is old enough have them help you pack it.  Also try to include some new inexpensive toys.
3. Tag team parent.  When one parent is starting to get frustrated, switch seats (or kids!)
4. Bring a car seat if the child is under 2.  They understand that their car seat is their seat.  They don't run around the car free, so they understand that the car seat is for them to sit in.
5.  Try to keep their routine semi-normal, ie nap times.  No, they are not going to sleep as much as they normally do, but routine makes kids feel comfortable.
6. Lower your expectations  a little.  Normally we don't let our kids snack all day.  But on a long plane ride, you do what you need to do to keep them and the other passengers happy.
7. Finally remember that most likely it is not as bad as it seems.  After long flights with a young Elias I have apologized to other passengers for noise, etc.  Every time they looked at me a bit crazy and said it was ok.  I think as parents we build it up in our heads, but in reality, they are not bothering anyone.

Good luck to all your traveler with young kids!!  I hope these tips helped!